Bear walks into a bar......
A bear walks into a bar and says, "I want a bourbon and............... coke"
The bartender asks "what's with the huge pause?"
The bear says, "I've had them all my life."
A.J. Gossip - Inoculations
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We have all been inoculated with Christianity, and are never likely to take it seriously now! You put some of the virus of some dreadful illness into a man's arm, and there is a little itchiness, some scratchiness, a slight discomfort--disagreeable, no doubt, but not the fever of the real disease, the turning and the tossing, and the ebbing strength. And we have all been inoculated with Christianity, more or less. We are on Christ's side, we wish him well, we hope that He will win, and we are even prepared to do something for Him, provided, of course, that He is reasonable, and does not make too much of an upset among our cozy comforts and our customary ways. But there is not the passion of zeal, and the burning enthusiasm, and the eagerness of self-sacrifice, of the real faith that changes character and wins the world.
CS Lewis home to receive historic landmark status
The Oxford home where Christian scholar and author CS Lewis wrote the popular The Chronicles of Narnia series is to receive historic landmark status.
Lewis lived at The Kilns from 1930 until his death in 1963. It was there that he wrote many of his works, from The Screwtape Letters to the Narnia series.
The Oxfordshire Blue Plaques Board will be unveiling a special blue plaque at The Kilns on Saturday to mark Lewis' contribution to scholarship and literature. 
Lewis wrote a total of 40 books in his lifetime but is best known for The Chronicles of Narnia, based on four children who lived with Lewis and his family as evacuees during the Second World War. The first instalment of the series, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, was adapted for the silver screen by Disney in 2005. In May 2008, the second book, Prince Caspian, also hit theatres.
Although his children's fiction books were extremely popular, Lewis was also highly regarded as a Christian apologist. Lewis' books, including Mere Christianity, The Problem of Pain and Miracles, which responded to common objections to Christianity, proved him to be one of the most influential Christian apologists of his time. To date, his books have sold over 100 million copies.
"We have very stringent rules and only award blue plaques for the highest level of achievement," says Eda Forbes, secretary to the Oxfordshire Blue Plaques, which recognises famous residences in Oxford with a permanently-installed plaque.
The Kilns is now a Christian study centre owned by the CS Lewis Foundation in California.
Stan Mattson, founder and president of the CS Lewis Foundation, and Walter Hooper, Lewis' former secretary and literary advisor to his estate, will join in the unveiling of the plaque.
The plaque will be the latest addition to the restored Kilns, that still houses the period wardrobe that inspired the magical portal in Lewis' Narnia story.
FAFF - BBQ - This Saturday - 6:00pm
Don't forget the FAFF BBQ and entertainment. BBQ food provided but please bring a salad. Last year was great fun although a little wet. The weather is supposed to be fair on Saturday?!
Proverbs 16:28 - Gossip
A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.
Proverbs 16:28
Proverbs 16:28
"Pa won't like it!"
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."
"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"
"Under the wagon."
"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."
"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"
"Under the wagon."
Martin Luther - Placed in God's Hands
I have held many things in my hands, and have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess.
Martin Luther
Now that's a "Bug Bomb"!
NEW YORK, July 21 - A New Jersey man trying to exterminate insects in his apartment blew it up instead, the New York Daily News reported on Monday.
Isias Vidal Maceda was unhurt in the incident, but 80 percent of his apartment was destroyed, Eatontown, New Jersey police told the newspaper.
The accident occurred as Maceda was spraying for pests in his kitchen. Somehow the bug spray ignited a blast that blew out the apartment's front windows and triggered a fire that quickly spread, the newspaper said.
Police told the newspaper that the Saturday blaze also caused smoke damage to the apartment above.
Isias Vidal Maceda was unhurt in the incident, but 80 percent of his apartment was destroyed, Eatontown, New Jersey police told the newspaper.
The accident occurred as Maceda was spraying for pests in his kitchen. Somehow the bug spray ignited a blast that blew out the apartment's front windows and triggered a fire that quickly spread, the newspaper said.
Police told the newspaper that the Saturday blaze also caused smoke damage to the apartment above.
Progress in Saudi - Anti-terrorism Pact!
Religious leaders concluded a historic inter-faith conference on Friday with a call for an international pact to combat terrorism. Representatives – which included Islamic, Christian and Jewish leaders – asked the UN General Assembly to call a special session 
to help foster dialogue between “followers of religions, civilisations and cultures” and prevent “a clash of civilisations,” according to Agence France-Presse.
"Terrorism is a universal phenomenon that requires unified international efforts to combat it in a serious, responsible and just way," the three-day World Conference on Dialogue said in a final statement.This demands an international agreement on defining terrorism, addressing its root causes and achieving justice and stability in the world."
The statement was read at the closing session of the closed-door gathering, organised by Saudi King Abdullah and held in Madrid. It echoed the king's speech at the opening session where he rejected religious extremism and said conflicts were created by misinterpretations, not by religions themselves.
"There is a need for continuity in dialogue and not depending only on resorting to the UN," Abdullah al-Turki, secretary general of the Muslim World League, told a news conference. "This is going to be the first of a series of conferences. We have talked about organising a conference in Japan."
The Mecca-based Muslim World League had organised the interfaith conference for Saudi King Abdullah. Participants on Thursday also called for religions to re-examine the treatment and position of women, whom some described as marginalised by religions. Saudi Arabia is the only Arab Muslim country that bans all non-Islamic religious practices despite having a sizable number of non-Muslims in the country. Wahhabism, a extremely conservative strain of Sunni Islam, is practised in Saudi Arabia.
This year, US Commission on International Religious Freedom recommended again that the State Department designate Saudi Arabia as a Country of Particular Concern – the worst religious freedom violation category – for its egregious and systematic violation of religious freedom. The government is accused of promoting hate ideologies towards non-Wahhabi Muslims through its official educational textbooks. Among what the textbooks teach include commanding Muslims to “hate” all non-Wahhabi Muslims; instructing students not to “greet”, “befriend”, “imitate”, “show loyalty to”, “be courteous to”, or “respect” non-believers; and instruct that the “fighting between Muslims and Jews” will continue until Judgment Day.
Some of the prominent religious and political figures at the event included evangelist Franklin Graham, former Vice President Al Gore, American civil rights leader the Rev Jesse Jackson, former British Prime Minister Tony Blair and Rabbi David Rosen.
Walter Cradock - Tied
I would do a hundred things that Christ hath not commanded, and leave undone a hundred things that Christ hath not forbidden, rather than be tied to one thing by men that Christ hath not commanded.
Walter Cradock
Walter Cradock
Christian Politicians Slum It for a Good Cause
Christian MPs were among a group of six parliamentarians who spent the last 24 hours in a makeshift slum to draw attention to the plight of the one billion slum dwellers worldwide.
Labour MP Andy Read, Conservative MP David Burrowes and Lib Dem MP Tim Farron were given a taste of the reality that slum dwellers face each day as part of the Tearfund-Soul Survivor joint initiative, Slum Survivor.
The challenge required the MPs to construct their own slum dwelling from tarpaulin and vegetable crates and live off a diet of lentil dhal for 24 hours.
“It’s about being slightly out of our comfort zone,” said Mr Read, who credits his Christian faith as the inspiration for becoming a politician.
“It’s just understanding a little bit of not being in power,” said Mr Burrowes. “People like to think of us as the powerful but it’s a few hours of being powerless, and having to do things in circumstances which are beyond our control. That’s important for us to understand when we are in power that we are ensuring we are speaking up for the powerless.”
The MPs said they hoped to raise more awareness of the daily suffering endured by the world’s slum dwellers and campaign for more to be done to achieve the Millennium Development Goal to significantly improve the lives of at least 100 million slum dwellers by 2020.
“Even if us having a little bit of hardship over the next 24 hours makes a difference in people thinking about this issue, if that’s all I’ve managed to achieve, then for me that’s a good start,” said Mr Read.
He admitted that it had been a challenge to go with so little food whilst others around him continued to eat to Western standards but said it had helped him to realise that “the proximity of slum dwellers and those in absolute poverty is quite often next to that absolute wealth”.
Thousands of young people have already taken up the Slum Survivor challenge, with many going on to hold their own Slum Survivor events in their schools, colleges and churches.
More than £160,000 has been raised and is going towards supporting young slum dwellers in Zimbabwe and South Africa with education and food.
Labour MP Andy Read, Conservative MP David Burrowes and Lib Dem MP Tim Farron were given a taste of the reality that slum dwellers face each day as part of the Tearfund-Soul Survivor joint initiative, Slum Survivor.
The challenge required the MPs to construct their own slum dwelling from tarpaulin and vegetable crates and live off a diet of lentil dhal for 24 hours.
“It’s about being slightly out of our comfort zone,” said Mr Read, who credits his Christian faith as the inspiration for becoming a politician.
“It’s just understanding a little bit of not being in power,” said Mr Burrowes. “People like to think of us as the powerful but it’s a few hours of being powerless, and having to do things in circumstances which are beyond our control. That’s important for us to understand when we are in power that we are ensuring we are speaking up for the powerless.”
The MPs said they hoped to raise more awareness of the daily suffering endured by the world’s slum dwellers and campaign for more to be done to achieve the Millennium Development Goal to significantly improve the lives of at least 100 million slum dwellers by 2020.
“Even if us having a little bit of hardship over the next 24 hours makes a difference in people thinking about this issue, if that’s all I’ve managed to achieve, then for me that’s a good start,” said Mr Read.
He admitted that it had been a challenge to go with so little food whilst others around him continued to eat to Western standards but said it had helped him to realise that “the proximity of slum dwellers and those in absolute poverty is quite often next to that absolute wealth”.
Thousands of young people have already taken up the Slum Survivor challenge, with many going on to hold their own Slum Survivor events in their schools, colleges and churches.
More than £160,000 has been raised and is going towards supporting young slum dwellers in Zimbabwe and South Africa with education and food.
Follow this link slum survivor for information on how you can slum it for charity.
One woman's rubbish is the same woman's treasure!
PARIS (Reuters) - A French air hostess will become one of Europe's pioneer space tourists after picking a chocolate wrapper out of the rubbish 
and finding a winning number in a competition to fly to the upper reaches of the earth's atmosphere.
Mathilde Epron, 32, said she had bought a Kit Kat chocolate bar at her local supermarket but initially threw the wrapper in the bin, telling herself that "it's only others who win."
Two hours later, thinking back to the competition, she decided to try her luck and fished the wrapper out of the bin, only to find a code marked inside.
"For someone who works in air travel it's really a dream come true," she told France Info radio.
A spokeswoman for Nestle in France confirmed that Epron had won the prize to take a flight on a four-seater, fighter-sized aircraft built by Rocketplane, a company that builds aircraft intended to provide cheap flights into space.
She will receive four days of astronaut training in Oklahoma City in the United States before boarding the Rocketplane XP aircraft which will reach an altitude of 100 km (60 miles) and allow a five-minute experience of weightlessness.
(that would make a great item for the table top sale!)
church of the nazarene broadwalk knowle park bristol bs4 2rd england
1 Peter - Worries and Cares
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you.
1 Peter 5:7
www.cotn.co.uk
Nepal - Formerly the only official Hindu country is now open to the preaching of the Gospel
The world’s formerly only official Hindu country is now open to the preaching of the Gospel, a Christian missionary working there declared joyfully this past weekend. Christians were reportedly arrested and imprisoned for preaching the Gospel in Nepal, 
speaker Narayan Sharma, Gospel for Asia’s Nepal country leader, said at the GFA “Renewing Your Passion” Conference in Dallas, Texas, on Friday. He recounted when he himself was arrested and put into a dungeon-like prison cell because he shared his faith.
“In all this darkness, there was no imagination that the country would ever be open,” Sharma said.
But in April, Nepal held its first election for a new legislative assembly, and in May lawmakers legally abolished the monarchy and declared the country a republic. The king was previously considered to be a god. Newly elected officials also promised to allow religious freedom in the government. Now, Gospel programmes are aired over the same government-owned radio stations that used to carry reports of Christians being arrested, Sharma said.
“The Bible says that after the night, joy comes in the morning, and morning has come to Nepal!” Sharma told the audience of more than 1,000 people.
Missionaries from Burma, Sri Lanka, India and the United States also spoke. The Burmese missionary recounted how locals saw the heart of God when missionaries and volunteers brought them food and supplies after the recent cyclone disaster.
“Buddha did nothing while we were suffering. But your Jesus loves us,” the missionary recalled a family telling him. “Now every Sunday they are coming to church and worshipping the Lord,” he added.
Following a message about the importance of prayer, GFA leaders and attendees held a late-night prayer vigil on Saturday. GFA says it has 16,500 native missionaries working in 11 south Asian countries. The “Renewing Your Passion Conference” began on Friday with GFA president and greetings from founder KP Yohannan and ended on Sunday.
church of the nazarene broadwalk knowle park bristol bs4 2rd england
1 Peter - Hospitality
Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.
1 Peter 4:9-11
Lost Son
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally, he went to 
the checkout line, but she got in front of him.
"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son who just died recently."
"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Yes," she said. "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Goodbye mother'? It would make me feel much better."
"Sure," answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye mother!"
As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"
"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.
www.cotn.co.uk
"And you will have fun when we say you can!"
BEIJING (Reuters) - Beijing has advised spectators coming to next month's Olympics to leave their banners at home, even if they do not contravene rules forbidding the airing of political or religious views at venues.
Beijing authorities have long been concerned that its citizens will
take some of the gloss off the August 8-24 Games through bad manners and Monday released its "Spectators House Rules" along with a "Good Habit for a Good Games" campaign.
The rules, which Beijing organizers said were "virtually the same as for the Athens and Sydney Olympics," ban banners and flags larger than two meters by one meter although officials said they would prefer that even smaller signs were not displayed.
"We advise that you do not bring banners of any kind to the Games because we must create a fair play environment for the athletes from all countries," Huang Keying, deputy director of spectator services division at the Beijing Organising Committee for the Olympic Games (BOCOG), told a news conference.
"The kind of banner with "Go China!" on it would be unfair for athletes from other countries."
The Olympic charter bans "any kind of demonstration or political, religious or racial propaganda ... in any Olympic sites, venues or other areas."
NO GAMBLING, DRUNKENNESS or STREAKING
The Beijing rules forbid any "display for commercial, religious, political, military purposes, or those for territory, human rights, environmental protection or animal protection" without prior official permission.
Beijing authorities have long been concerned that its citizens will
take some of the gloss off the August 8-24 Games through bad manners and Monday released its "Spectators House Rules" along with a "Good Habit for a Good Games" campaign.The rules, which Beijing organizers said were "virtually the same as for the Athens and Sydney Olympics," ban banners and flags larger than two meters by one meter although officials said they would prefer that even smaller signs were not displayed.
"We advise that you do not bring banners of any kind to the Games because we must create a fair play environment for the athletes from all countries," Huang Keying, deputy director of spectator services division at the Beijing Organising Committee for the Olympic Games (BOCOG), told a news conference.
"The kind of banner with "Go China!" on it would be unfair for athletes from other countries."
The Olympic charter bans "any kind of demonstration or political, religious or racial propaganda ... in any Olympic sites, venues or other areas."
NO GAMBLING, DRUNKENNESS or STREAKING
The Beijing rules forbid any "display for commercial, religious, political, military purposes, or those for territory, human rights, environmental protection or animal protection" without prior official permission.
China - at it again.
Two Catholic priests in China's "underground" church have been detained for over a month after trying to join a pilgrimage, an overseas group said, as the government seeks to quell protest threats before the Olympics.
Zhang Jianlin and Zhang Li, priests from near Zhangjiakou city in Hebei province, next to Beijing, sought to join thousands of other Catholics on the annual pilgrimage on May 24 to the Our Lady of Sheshan shrine near Shanghai, the Connecticut-based Cardinal Kung Foundation said in an email on Monday.
"Both priests disappeared while they were in the hands of Chinese authorities," said the Foundation, which is highly critical of Chinese state restrictions on religion. "There has been no news on these two priests since their arrests."
China is preparing to host the Beijing Olympic Games that start on August 8. The government says citizens can practice religion in state-registered settings and has vowed Games visitors will be free to worship.
But wary authorities have also been seeking to stamp out signs of unrest, including dissent from religious believers critical of state controls.
China's 8 to 12 million Catholics are divided between a state-sanctioned church and an underground church that rejects government ties.
Members of the state-approved church also honour the Pope as a spiritual authority, but the government restricts formal contacts with Rome, which has had no diplomatic ties with Beijing since 1951.
Hebei, where the two missing priests come from, is an epicentre of the underground church. The two men were going to Sheshan, where the popular pilgrimage was this year restricted by strict police checks.
Police and government offices in Xuanhua District, Zhangjiakou, where the priests come from, refused to answer questions about them or said they had no knowledge of the case.
"Nobody would be detained unless they were suspected of violating the law," said an officer from the district public security office. She refused to give her name.
Pope Benedict, who has made improving relations with China a main goal of his pontificate, has said the Beijing Olympics would be "of great value to humanity".
He will send a Hong Kong bishop to represent the Church at the Olympics opening ceremony but no diplomatic breakthrough with China is imminent, a senior Vatican official said last week.
Zhang Jianlin and Zhang Li, priests from near Zhangjiakou city in Hebei province, next to Beijing, sought to join thousands of other Catholics on the annual pilgrimage on May 24 to the Our Lady of Sheshan shrine near Shanghai, the Connecticut-based Cardinal Kung Foundation said in an email on Monday.
"Both priests disappeared while they were in the hands of Chinese authorities," said the Foundation, which is highly critical of Chinese state restrictions on religion. "There has been no news on these two priests since their arrests."
China is preparing to host the Beijing Olympic Games that start on August 8. The government says citizens can practice religion in state-registered settings and has vowed Games visitors will be free to worship.
But wary authorities have also been seeking to stamp out signs of unrest, including dissent from religious believers critical of state controls.
China's 8 to 12 million Catholics are divided between a state-sanctioned church and an underground church that rejects government ties.
Members of the state-approved church also honour the Pope as a spiritual authority, but the government restricts formal contacts with Rome, which has had no diplomatic ties with Beijing since 1951.
Hebei, where the two missing priests come from, is an epicentre of the underground church. The two men were going to Sheshan, where the popular pilgrimage was this year restricted by strict police checks.
Police and government offices in Xuanhua District, Zhangjiakou, where the priests come from, refused to answer questions about them or said they had no knowledge of the case.
"Nobody would be detained unless they were suspected of violating the law," said an officer from the district public security office. She refused to give her name.
Pope Benedict, who has made improving relations with China a main goal of his pontificate, has said the Beijing Olympics would be "of great value to humanity".
He will send a Hong Kong bishop to represent the Church at the Olympics opening ceremony but no diplomatic breakthrough with China is imminent, a senior Vatican official said last week.
Bringing Home the Bacon!
A bizarre ritual dating back to the 12th century in which the couple who can prove to a mock-court that they have the happiest marriage wins half a pig takes place on Saturday.
The Dunmow Flitch Trials in Essex, feature a judge and jury of "six maidens and six bachelors" who hear each couple tell the story of their marriage, from how they met to the proposal and how their families reacted.
The trials -- mentioned in medieval poet Geoffrey Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" -- are held every four years and this time feature five couples who have been married for at least "a year and a day", in line with the rules.
Jeff Dotts from the US, who is taking part with wife Erin Albers, told BBC radio: "The story was just too much for us to pass up -- what better way for you to express your love for your wife than by trying to win bacon?"
The Dunmow Flitch Trials in Essex, feature a judge and jury of "six maidens and six bachelors" who hear each couple tell the story of their marriage, from how they met to the proposal and how their families reacted.
The trials -- mentioned in medieval poet Geoffrey Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" -- are held every four years and this time feature five couples who have been married for at least "a year and a day", in line with the rules.
Jeff Dotts from the US, who is taking part with wife Erin Albers, told BBC radio: "The story was just too much for us to pass up -- what better way for you to express your love for your wife than by trying to win bacon?"
Now there's an idea! Plus £1.50 "Service" fee
JERUSALEM (Reuters) - Guests at an Israeli wedding hall can now insert a credit card into a machine at its entrance, tap in a sum and leave a gift for the bride and groom.
"It's new in Israel and the world," Aya Alon Kaufman of the Gan Oranim hall in Tel Aviv said on Israel's Channel 10 television. "It's very convenient ... guests can give a gift even if they forget their chequebooks."
She said couples pay 500 shekels ($155) to rent the device, which resembles an automated teller machine (cash machine), and the recorded funds are transferred into their bank account the next day.
The machine, shown being used in the television report, prints out a "deposit" slip with the guest's name, which can be put into an envelope along with a congratulatory note and inserted into a slot in the device for the couple to retrieve.
Rather than bring boxed gifts, guests at Israeli weddings usually leave cash or cheques in envelopes they slip into a safe placed at the reception hall's door.
"It's new in Israel and the world," Aya Alon Kaufman of the Gan Oranim hall in Tel Aviv said on Israel's Channel 10 television. "It's very convenient ... guests can give a gift even if they forget their chequebooks."
She said couples pay 500 shekels ($155) to rent the device, which resembles an automated teller machine (cash machine), and the recorded funds are transferred into their bank account the next day.
The machine, shown being used in the television report, prints out a "deposit" slip with the guest's name, which can be put into an envelope along with a congratulatory note and inserted into a slot in the device for the couple to retrieve.
Rather than bring boxed gifts, guests at Israeli weddings usually leave cash or cheques in envelopes they slip into a safe placed at the reception hall's door.
Jeremiah 32:17 - Great Power
"Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you."
Jeremiah 32:17
Congregation Tested
A minister posed as a tramp and gatecrashed his own service to teach churchgoers about "acceptance". The Reverend Derek Rigby 
donned a wig and some torn clothes and surrounded himself with lager cans and syringes in the church doorway on Sunday morning. Most of the congregation at the Trinity Methodist Church in Prestatyn, Denbighshire, ignored the intruder.
Mr Rigby said most were "embarrassed" by their behaviour when he finally revealed himself during the service.
The former police officer had told the congregation he would be late for Sunday's service, and only informed one church member of his true plans, in case anyone decided to dial 999.
The minister said he did not shave for three days and drew on tattoos to make his appearance more convincing.
He said: "I couldn't take the car in case anyone spotted it, so I walked from my home to the church. That was interesting, because my neighbours avoided me. I had bought clothes from a charity shop - which were immaculate - so I had to dirty them up a bit and I poured a bit of lager on them. When I got to the church I arranged a couple of cans and some plastic syringes, without needles, which I have at home for the dog. It gave the impression of a real down and out."
He added: "None of them spoke to me, apart from a few who told me off and told me to get away from their cars, which they kept checking. They all ignored me."
He waited until the children had left the church to join their Sunday School before walking to the front of the building and revealing his identity to the congregation.
He said: "Some were very embarrassed. Nobody was angry with me but they were shocked they had ignored me in the way they had. They could have given me a cup of coffee. I was surprised rather than disappointed. Some people said they wished I had been there because I would have known how to deal with the situation."
Mr Rigby said he had intended to communicate a "serious message of acceptance in an emotive way", and used the example of the Disciples not recognising Jesus on the road to Emmaus after his resurrection.
He said he had tried a similar stunt twice before in Newport and London - where the congregations had been more generous. He added: "I told them they were stingy because I had been given as much as £4.50, a packet of biscuits and a blanket in the other places, but in Prestatyn I got nothing. Although, I'm sure that wouldn't happen again."
Refrigerator
A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, ''Doctor, you've got to do something about my husband -- he thinks he's a refrigerator!''
''I wouldn't worry too much about it,'' the doctor replies. "Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.''
''But you don't understand,'' the woman insists. ''He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake.''
''I wouldn't worry too much about it,'' the doctor replies. "Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.''
''But you don't understand,'' the woman insists. ''He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake.''
John 3:16 - Eternal Life
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
John 3:16
(Ed - if you're wondering about the wig, it is because at major sporting events in the USA people wear bright wigs and hold up signs saying John 3:16)
Homeless Children - Self Perpetuating!
A new generation of children risks becoming socially excluded and even homeless unless urgent action is taken to tackle poor and abusive parenting head on, a report warns today.
This stark warning comes in ‘The Seeds of Exclusion’,a new report by The Salvation Army based on in-depth interviews with nearly 450 people currently receiving help in its homeless centres across the UK.
The report found that a very high proportion of homeless people surveyed had a disruptive childhood, and suffered abuse and problematic relationships with their family and friends both now and in the past.
Nearly 30 per cent were homeless before they were 18, some on more than one occasion. Those who had poor relationships with their parents were more likely to have been homeless as children.
Traumatic experiences and poor childhood relationships with parents are key, the report finds. Poor relationships with one's father as a child were common among homeless people charged with criminal behaviour as an adult. A poor relationship with one's mother was linked specifically to anti-social behaviour throughout life.
‘The Seeds of Exclusion’ study also discovered that homeless people have a much higher level of severe and untreated mental health problems than has been previously documented – two thirds (65 per cent) screened positive for two or more psychological problems such as personality disorders, a range of mental illnesses, and drug and alcohol abuse.
Only one in ten (11 per cent) of those surveyed had access to mental health care.
The study by The Salvation Army found that the gap between leaving ‘controlled’ environments such as prison is not being effectively bridged. A quarter of interviewees had come almost directly from places like prison or a mental health unit.
The Salvation Army is now urging society and Government to look beyond today’s adult homeless person to the child whose upbringing has left them vulnerable and less able to cope in adulthood. The Salvation Army also warns that there needs to be more support for those people with multiple needs which have led to social exclusion.
Commissioner John Matear, leader of The Salvation Army in the UK and the Republic of Ireland, said : "In the current economic climate, many more people may be forced to the brink of homelessness. To break this cycle we must stop assuming that good parenting just comes naturally or that people in need will find their own way to the services on offer.
"Unless we find ways of identifying families at risk and supporting them today, right where they are in their own communities, we are just storing up problems for the future."
The Salvation Army is calling for greater recognition of the potential role which third sector and faith-based organisations can play in identifying and eliminating the factors which will turn today’s children into tomorrow’s homeless people.
Commissioner John Matear added: "We need Government to recognise that they must invest in long-term policies and funding, not short-term fixes.
"A major part of that is to work with third sector groups on addressing the seeds of poor relationships and family experiences which can ultimately lead to people becoming excluded from society."
‘The Seeds of Exclusion’ report paints the clearest picture to date of the difficult backgrounds and the extent to which people in Salvation Army centres have much more complex and severe problems than has previously been recognised, many of which are not being addressed.
The study also reveals that even if services are available, they often fail to engage with many vulnerable people, who find it hard to access statutory support for problems such as mental health, leaving prison or the armed forces as well as help when struggling as a parent.
The Salvation Army is committed to continuing to adapt and expand its own services to give today’s homeless and socially excluded people better all-round support, to work with all families and identify those at risk, and to continue to increase understanding of the underlying problems of social exclusion.
church of the nazarene broadwalk knowle park bristol bs4 2rd uk
How Sunday Schools Shaped Britain - and their local connection!
It's not just learning the words to Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam, says Huw Edwards. Early pioneers rocked the boat by teaching poorer children to read, and football clubs like Everton owe their existence to the religious classes.
Mention Sunday school today and many will think of an institution that feels fusty, cosy and quaint. Some might even feel outright hostility. But others remember kindness, rich storytelling and singing - happy memories of some of the best moments of childhood.
This remarkable movement, founded in 1774 with the first class held in a house in Gloucester, has had a deeply radical effect on British society. In the early days, it was seen as dangerous and subversive to give the tools of literacy to the lower orders. In Victorian times, Sunday schools helped shape future MPs, women teachers and a large number of the current Premiership football clubs.
(ed - brilliant show and worth catching on BBC iplayer or rewind TV)
Floods In Iowa
As of July 1, the 2008 Midwest (U.S.) floods continue to escalate to major proportions. According to Nazarene Disaster Response (NDR) Director Steve Creech, the 2008 floods have been the greatest challenge NDR has faced since Hurricane Katrina in 2005. 
"The areas of damage [in the Midwest] are wide spread and the need for volunteers is critical and in short supply," stated Creech.Iowa District Superintendent Garey Miller has requested help for as many Iowa District churches as possible. Teams are critically needed in Cedar Falls, Iowa as they currently have a shortage of volunteers and teams. While many team leaders are looking for a project with a September-October time frame, the critical need is for Work and Witness-style teams who can deploy to Iowa in the next two or three weeks to mud-out homes and do other repairs. In other areas, the Wapello, Iowa, Church of the Nazarene is still in the recovery stages. They are expecting a team from West Flint, Michigan, to arrive soon and help with some of the clean up and recovery efforts. The Cedar Rapids, Iowa, church is currently staffed and a shortage of volunteers is not anticipated for that area since the volunteer coordination has been coming from multiple churches and faith groups.Also, the Northwest Illinois District has recently been declared a disaster area due to flood waters. Massive damage and destruction has been reported in the Kiephsburg and Lomax, Illinois, areas. Illinois NDR Coordinator Ron Scarlett has been working to get relief to these areas. Help is requested in Illinois as well. NDR has activated multiple rapid response teams for the first flood event in Indiana. However, many volunteers have already used their vacation days to deploy to Indiana. Now, less than a month later, there is another critical need and many of the NDR volunteers are unable to help at the present time. According to Creech, mass care products such as Crisis Care Kits and other items are not currently needed. The most critical need is for volunteers. NDR is also taking long term volunteers to help with long term disaster recovery.
"The areas of damage [in the Midwest] are wide spread and the need for volunteers is critical and in short supply," stated Creech.Iowa District Superintendent Garey Miller has requested help for as many Iowa District churches as possible. Teams are critically needed in Cedar Falls, Iowa as they currently have a shortage of volunteers and teams. While many team leaders are looking for a project with a September-October time frame, the critical need is for Work and Witness-style teams who can deploy to Iowa in the next two or three weeks to mud-out homes and do other repairs. In other areas, the Wapello, Iowa, Church of the Nazarene is still in the recovery stages. They are expecting a team from West Flint, Michigan, to arrive soon and help with some of the clean up and recovery efforts. The Cedar Rapids, Iowa, church is currently staffed and a shortage of volunteers is not anticipated for that area since the volunteer coordination has been coming from multiple churches and faith groups.Also, the Northwest Illinois District has recently been declared a disaster area due to flood waters. Massive damage and destruction has been reported in the Kiephsburg and Lomax, Illinois, areas. Illinois NDR Coordinator Ron Scarlett has been working to get relief to these areas. Help is requested in Illinois as well. NDR has activated multiple rapid response teams for the first flood event in Indiana. However, many volunteers have already used their vacation days to deploy to Indiana. Now, less than a month later, there is another critical need and many of the NDR volunteers are unable to help at the present time. According to Creech, mass care products such as Crisis Care Kits and other items are not currently needed. The most critical need is for volunteers. NDR is also taking long term volunteers to help with long term disaster recovery.Now there's an idea!
NEW DELHI (Reuters) - It pays to use a toilet in southern India, as residents are earning close to a dollar a month by using public urinals, a scheme launched by authorities to promote hygiene and research in rural areas.
Dozens of people are queuing up to use toilets in Musiri, a remote town in Tamil Nadu state, where authorities have succeeded in keeping street corners clean with the new scheme, The Times of India newspaper said on Sunday.
"In fact, many of us started using toilets for urination only after the ecosan (ecological sanitation) toilets were constructed in the area," said S. Rajasekaran, a truck cleaner.
The urine was also being collected and tested for its efficacy as a crop fertilizer, an official of the state's agricultural university added.
People relieving themselves in the open is a common sight in India's rural towns and villages, as basic sanitation still eludes millions.
church of the nazarene broad walk knowle park bristol bs4 2rd UK
Proverbs 18:12 - Humility
Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.
Proverbs 18:12
Table Top Sale - Saturday 12th July 2008
Come and get some summer bargains before they're all gone this Saturday 12th July 2008 from 10:00 to 12:00. Great morning to shop and have a free cup of tea or coffee and some cake. Cake and goods donations warmly appreciated. Volunteers welcome!
Church of the Nazarene Broadwalk Knowle Bristol BS4 2RD.
10 things we may not have known before last week....
1. In Zimbabwe, millions of dollars are called mollars.
2. .The 9/11 conspiracy theorists in the US include the LIHOPs (the government Let It Happen On Purpose) and MIHOPs (the government Made It Happen On Purpose).
3. Sir Clive Sinclair doesn't use the internet.
4. Everton, Aston Villa and Fulham are among the football clubs that were created from Sunday schools.
5. The City of Glasgow Police is the oldest force in the world, 29 years older than the Metropolitan Police formed under Sir Robert Peel.
6. Nelson Mandela was still on the US terror watch list until this week.
7. An income of £13,400 is required to enjoy a minimum standard of living in the UK.
8. Gordon Brown's favourite Beatle song is All My Loving.
9. Malaria is increasing in the UK.
10. Quarter-finalists at Wimbledon get free tea at the tournament for life.
2. .The 9/11 conspiracy theorists in the US include the LIHOPs (the government Let It Happen On Purpose) and MIHOPs (the government Made It Happen On Purpose).
3. Sir Clive Sinclair doesn't use the internet.
4. Everton, Aston Villa and Fulham are among the football clubs that were created from Sunday schools.
5. The City of Glasgow Police is the oldest force in the world, 29 years older than the Metropolitan Police formed under Sir Robert Peel.
6. Nelson Mandela was still on the US terror watch list until this week.
7. An income of £13,400 is required to enjoy a minimum standard of living in the UK.
8. Gordon Brown's favourite Beatle song is All My Loving.
9. Malaria is increasing in the UK.
10. Quarter-finalists at Wimbledon get free tea at the tournament for life.
Mentally Unfit? - Maybe dyslexic too? (and the Church should get the money!)
NEW YORK (Reuters) - New York hotelier and real estate magnate Leona Helmsley left millions to her beloved dog, Trouble, but she has left billions for the care of dogs in general, The New York Times said on Tuesday.
Helmsley left instructions that an entire charitable trust valued at $5 billion to $8 billion (2.5 billion to 4 billion pounds) and amounting to virtually all of her estate, be used for the care and welfare of dogs, the newspaper said, citing two people who had seen the document and described it on condition of anonymity.
The two people who had seen the document said Helmsley signed it in 2003 to establish goals for the trust that would disburse assets after her death. The first goal was to help indigent people and the second to provide for the care and welfare of dogs, the newspaper said. But a year later, she deleted the first goal.
But all the money may not go to the dogs, the article said. It said the mission statement also has a provision that Helmsley's trustees may use their discretion in distributing the funds, and some lawyers say the statement may not mean much, given that it was not incorporated into her will or the trust documents.
Helmsley, who was known as "the Queen of Mean" because of the way she dealt with her employees, had a soft spot for her dog. But a New York court last month lowered the dog's inheritance to $2 million from $12 million on grounds that Helmsley was mentally unfit when she made her will.
A spokesman for the executors of Helmsley's estate told the Times they did not want to comment on the statement because they were still working to determine the trust's direction.
Helmsley died in August 2007 at age 87. She amassed a fortune in real estate and hotels with her husband, Harry Helmsley, who died in 1997.
Famously quoted as having said "only the little people pay taxes," Helmsley spent 18 months in federal prison for evading $1.7 million in taxes in 1989.
Helmsley left instructions that an entire charitable trust valued at $5 billion to $8 billion (2.5 billion to 4 billion pounds) and amounting to virtually all of her estate, be used for the care and welfare of dogs, the newspaper said, citing two people who had seen the document and described it on condition of anonymity.
The two people who had seen the document said Helmsley signed it in 2003 to establish goals for the trust that would disburse assets after her death. The first goal was to help indigent people and the second to provide for the care and welfare of dogs, the newspaper said. But a year later, she deleted the first goal.
But all the money may not go to the dogs, the article said. It said the mission statement also has a provision that Helmsley's trustees may use their discretion in distributing the funds, and some lawyers say the statement may not mean much, given that it was not incorporated into her will or the trust documents.
Helmsley, who was known as "the Queen of Mean" because of the way she dealt with her employees, had a soft spot for her dog. But a New York court last month lowered the dog's inheritance to $2 million from $12 million on grounds that Helmsley was mentally unfit when she made her will.
A spokesman for the executors of Helmsley's estate told the Times they did not want to comment on the statement because they were still working to determine the trust's direction.
Helmsley died in August 2007 at age 87. She amassed a fortune in real estate and hotels with her husband, Harry Helmsley, who died in 1997.
Famously quoted as having said "only the little people pay taxes," Helmsley spent 18 months in federal prison for evading $1.7 million in taxes in 1989.
Overwhelmed?
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Steven Wright
www.cotn.co.uk
Thomas Aquinas - Upright Heart
Give me, O Lord, a steadfast heart, which no unworthy affection may drag downwards; give me an unconquered heart, which no tribulation can wear out; give me an upright heart, which no unworthy purpose can tempt aside.
Thomas Aquinas
Bite the Bullet!
The founder of Christian anti-crime initiative Street Pastors is urging church leaders and young people to turn out for Bite The Bullet, a special one day conference aimed at encouraging young people to resist the lure of crime, and helping churches reach out to young people caught up in gun and knife culture.
The Rev Isaac commented, “Not a week goes by without there being some story in the media about a young person being stabbed or shot. Our urban communities are becoming very violent places and it is important that churches take seriously what is happening, and learn how they can make a difference in the lives of young people and communities affected by this culture of violence.”
His appeal comes just days after the murder of Ben Kinsella, the 16-year-old brother of "Eastenders" actress Brooke Kinsella. Ben became the 17th young person to be murdered in London this year after he was chased through the streets of north London and stabbed to death by up to four teenagers following a fight at a nightclub in the early hours of Sunday, police said.
Speakers at Bite the Bullet include Rev Isaac, Deputy London Mayor Ray Lewis, members of the Metropolitan Police, former criminals, former "Casualty" actor and playwright Kwame Kwei-Armah, and youth worker and actress Amie Buhari.
The Rev Isaac has years of experience working with disaffected youth. He founded Street Pastors five years ago in response to the gun crime plaguing Britain’s inner cities.
He explained, “The church can make a difference if it wants to. Since Street Pastors was set up we have broken up fights, provided young people with positive directions to change their lives and given people hope. I, along with some of the other speakers, want to share our experiences so that we encourage young people to be focused and purposeful and encourage churches to share hope and work with disaffected youth, with a view to discouraging them from crime.”
Bite the Bullet is a joint venture between the Baptist Union of Great Britain and the Ascension Trust and will take place on Saturday, July 12 at Brixton Baptist Church, Solon Road, Brixton, London SW2 5UY from 10.30am – 9pm. The day conference will be followed by an evening concert featuring performing artists Transformers, Jake Isaac, All Bout Christ and Hidden Man.
The Rev Isaac commented, “Not a week goes by without there being some story in the media about a young person being stabbed or shot. Our urban communities are becoming very violent places and it is important that churches take seriously what is happening, and learn how they can make a difference in the lives of young people and communities affected by this culture of violence.”
His appeal comes just days after the murder of Ben Kinsella, the 16-year-old brother of "Eastenders" actress Brooke Kinsella. Ben became the 17th young person to be murdered in London this year after he was chased through the streets of north London and stabbed to death by up to four teenagers following a fight at a nightclub in the early hours of Sunday, police said.
Speakers at Bite the Bullet include Rev Isaac, Deputy London Mayor Ray Lewis, members of the Metropolitan Police, former criminals, former "Casualty" actor and playwright Kwame Kwei-Armah, and youth worker and actress Amie Buhari.
The Rev Isaac has years of experience working with disaffected youth. He founded Street Pastors five years ago in response to the gun crime plaguing Britain’s inner cities.
He explained, “The church can make a difference if it wants to. Since Street Pastors was set up we have broken up fights, provided young people with positive directions to change their lives and given people hope. I, along with some of the other speakers, want to share our experiences so that we encourage young people to be focused and purposeful and encourage churches to share hope and work with disaffected youth, with a view to discouraging them from crime.”
Bite the Bullet is a joint venture between the Baptist Union of Great Britain and the Ascension Trust and will take place on Saturday, July 12 at Brixton Baptist Church, Solon Road, Brixton, London SW2 5UY from 10.30am – 9pm. The day conference will be followed by an evening concert featuring performing artists Transformers, Jake Isaac, All Bout Christ and Hidden Man.
John Bunyan - A Little from God!
Read and read again, and do not despair of help to understand the will and mind of God though you think they are fast locked up from you. Neither trouble your heads though you have not commentaries and exposition. Pray and read, read and pray; for a little from God is better than a great deal from men.
John Bunyan
John Bunyan
The Giraffe did it - in a line-up, he stood out!
AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - Fifteen camels, two zebras and several llamas and pot-bellied pigs escaped from a circus visiting Amsterdam early Monday, police said.
"We suspect that a giraffe kicked open a pen," Dutch police said in a statement, adding that the animals did not get far before they were rounded up and returned to the circus.
"We suspect that a giraffe kicked open a pen," Dutch police said in a statement, adding that the animals did not get far before they were rounded up and returned to the circus.
Good Egg - First School Donation Rolls In
The ‘Be a Good Egg’ campaign run by Christian charity World Emergency Relief (WER) has received its first donation from a school after Tenby Junior School raised more than £250 – enough to send 42 chickens to lay eggs for impoverished families in Africa.
More than 50 plucky children at the school took part, raising funds over the Easter period by donating money they would otherwise have spent on chocolate Easter eggs.
The children were each presented with ‘Good Egg’ certificates by Alex Haxton, chief executive of the ‘Be a good egg’ campaign. He and colleague Therese Whitcomb-Eriksson dressed in chicken and egg costumes to talk to the children about the charity’s work and present them with their certificates.
“This is the first of what we hope will be many donations from schools,” says Alex Haxton, who is also director of operations at World Emergency Relief.
“The campaign has been developed with children in mind and is an ideal format for schools to adopt as a chosen charity. It’s fun but also meaningful, and can support the curriculum in many areas from maths to geography to religious education.”
It costs WER around £6.00 to fund a laying hen in Africa, which includes helping towards its feed and housing. Each chicken will lay around 120 eggs a year, which will help feed children who have very little to eat and provide families with a small income if they’re also able to sell some of the eggs.
At Tenby Junior School, the children brought in empty egg boxes from home, turned them into collecting boxes using ‘Be a good egg’ wrappers supplied by the campaign, and then filled them with pocket money and coppers over the Easter period, using money that would have been spent on chocolate eggs to create real eggs instead.
When all the collecting boxes came back, they were emptied and then put in the school’s compost bin, and a cheque for the total amount sent to WER.
“The children have a real sense of achievement,” says teacher Nan Dowell who co-ordinated the fundraising. “It was great to hear from the charity about how the money would be turned into chickens and eggs, and what a difference it will make.
"We’re also hoping to get some pictures of the actual chickens we’ve helped fund and the children who are benefiting. That will help make it all the more real for our pupils, and encourage even more fundraising next Easter.”
On the web: http://www.beagoodegg.com/
More than 50 plucky children at the school took part, raising funds over the Easter period by donating money they would otherwise have spent on chocolate Easter eggs.
The children were each presented with ‘Good Egg’ certificates by Alex Haxton, chief executive of the ‘Be a good egg’ campaign. He and colleague Therese Whitcomb-Eriksson dressed in chicken and egg costumes to talk to the children about the charity’s work and present them with their certificates.
“This is the first of what we hope will be many donations from schools,” says Alex Haxton, who is also director of operations at World Emergency Relief.
“The campaign has been developed with children in mind and is an ideal format for schools to adopt as a chosen charity. It’s fun but also meaningful, and can support the curriculum in many areas from maths to geography to religious education.”
It costs WER around £6.00 to fund a laying hen in Africa, which includes helping towards its feed and housing. Each chicken will lay around 120 eggs a year, which will help feed children who have very little to eat and provide families with a small income if they’re also able to sell some of the eggs.
At Tenby Junior School, the children brought in empty egg boxes from home, turned them into collecting boxes using ‘Be a good egg’ wrappers supplied by the campaign, and then filled them with pocket money and coppers over the Easter period, using money that would have been spent on chocolate eggs to create real eggs instead.
When all the collecting boxes came back, they were emptied and then put in the school’s compost bin, and a cheque for the total amount sent to WER.
“The children have a real sense of achievement,” says teacher Nan Dowell who co-ordinated the fundraising. “It was great to hear from the charity about how the money would be turned into chickens and eggs, and what a difference it will make.
"We’re also hoping to get some pictures of the actual chickens we’ve helped fund and the children who are benefiting. That will help make it all the more real for our pupils, and encourage even more fundraising next Easter.”
On the web: http://www.beagoodegg.com/
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