Showing posts with label jesus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jesus. Show all posts

Poet Steve Turner reassembles the Nativity Cast for Easter!

Take the wise men to the Emperor’s palace.
Wash their hands in water.
Get them to say something about truth.
Does anyone know any good Jewish jokes?
The one about a carpenter
who thought he was a King?
The one about the Saviour
who couldn’t save himself?
The shepherds should stand with the chorus.
They have a big production number -
‘Barabbas, We Love You Baby’.
Mary? She can move to the front.
We have a special section reserved
for family and close friends.
Tell her that we had to cut the manger up.
We needed the wood for something else.
The star I’m afraid I can’t use.
There are no stars in this show.
The sky turns black with sorrow.
The earth shakes with terror.
Hold on to the frankincense.
We’ll need that for the garden scene.
Angels? He could do with some angels.
Avenging angels.
Merciful angels.
He could really do with some angels.
Baby Jesus.
Step this way please.
My! How you’ve grown!

Website to make Jesus more famous?!?!


Rejesus.co.uk, a leading home on the internet for all things about Jesus and related faith issues, announced Wednesday that Church Army is to become a major strategic and managerial partner in the future development of the site.
Rob Freeman, Archdeacon of Halifax and Chair of the rejesus board, said, " I am delighted with this news. Rejesus.co.uk was established to enable people who are not connected with church to be able to explore issues around who Jesus is and how he impacts on issues of life and spirituality.
"The partnership with Church Army will help bring fresh impetus and additional resources to the development of the site and help build on our success in establishing rejesus.co.uk as the number one place on the web to go to find out about Jesus."
Rejesus.co.uk is one of the most successful current UK evangelism initiatives. It attracts hundreds of thousands of people to the site each year, many of whom are not in contact with church and are exploring issues of faith and spirituality.
Recent modules launched by rejesus include specially produced content for the BBC's The Passion series and for the movie Evan Almighty, a Jesus on-line pub quiz and guidance on prayer.
Church Army's Chief Executive Mark Russell adds, " Rejesus is a fantastically creative and entertaining resource for those who want to discover more about Jesus and the Christian faith.
"Our passion at Church Army is to do all we can to make Jesus more well known and we are excited at the prospect of working with the creative team at rejesus to do just that and help make this great resource even better.
"We want everyone to be talking about it and all the churches to help support what we do and join us in helping to make Jesus famous."
On the web: http://www.rejesus.co.uk/, http://www.churcharmy.org.uk/

Bob Dylan Talks to Jesus

Jesus tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Bob, why are you resisting me?" I said, "I'm not resisting you!" He said, "You gonna follow me?" I said, I've never thought about that before!" He said, "When you're not following me, you're resisting me."— Bob Dylan

church of the nazarene broadwalk knowle park bristol bs4 2rd

Jesus at the Gates

St Peter decides to take the day off to go fishing, so Jesus offers to keep an eye on the Pearly Gates. He is not sure what to do, so Peter tells him to find out a bit about people as they arrive in Heaven, and this will help him decide if he can let them in.After a while, Jesus sees a little old man with white hair approaching who looks very, very familiar. He asks the old man to tell him about himself. The old man says, "I had a very sad life. I was a carpenter and had a son who I lost at a relatively young age, and although he was not my natural child, I loved him dearly."



Jesus welled up with emotion. He threw his arms around the old man and cried, "Daddy!"



The old man replied, "Pinocchio?"

church of the nazarene broadwalk knowle bristol bs4 2rd

Luke 24 - The Resurrection

Luke 24

The Resurrection
1On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. 2They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, 3but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. 4While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. 5In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among the dead? 6He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: 7'The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.' " 8Then they remembered his words.

9When they came back from the tomb, they told all these things to the Eleven and to all the others. 10It was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the others with them who told this to the apostles. 11But they did not believe the women, because their words seemed to them like nonsense. 12Peter, however, got up and ran to the tomb. Bending over, he saw the strips of linen lying by themselves, and he went away, wondering to himself what had happened.

On the Road to Emmaus
13Now that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles[a] from Jerusalem. 14They were talking with each other about everything that had happened. 15As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; 16but they were kept from recognizing him.

17He asked them, "What are you discussing together as you walk along?"

They stood still, their faces downcast. 18One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, "Are you only a visitor to Jerusalem and do not know the things that have happened there in these days?"

19"What things?" he asked.

"About Jesus of Nazareth," they replied. "He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people. 20The chief priests and our rulers handed him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified him; 21but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place. 22In addition, some of our women amazed us. They went to the tomb early this morning 23but didn't find his body. They came and told us that they had seen a vision of angels, who said he was alive. 24Then some of our companions went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but him they did not see."

25He said to them, "How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26Did not the Christ[b] have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?" 27And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.

28As they approached the village to which they were going, Jesus acted as if he were going farther. 29But they urged him strongly, "Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over." So he went in to stay with them.

30When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. 31Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight. 32They asked each other, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?"

33They got up and returned at once to Jerusalem. There they found the Eleven and those with them, assembled together 34and saying, "It is true! The Lord has risen and has appeared to Simon." 35Then the two told what had happened on the way, and how Jesus was recognized by them when he broke the bread.

Jesus Appears to the Disciples
36While they were still talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, "Peace be with you."

37They were startled and frightened, thinking they saw a ghost. 38He said to them, "Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds? 39Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have."

40When he had said this, he showed them his hands and feet. 41And while they still did not believe it because of joy and amazement, he asked them, "Do you have anything here to eat?" 42They gave him a piece of broiled fish, 43and he took it and ate it in their presence.

44He said to them, "This is what I told you while I was still with you: Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms."

45Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures. 46He told them, "This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, 47and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem. 48You are witnesses of these things. 49I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high."

The Ascension
50When he had led them out to the vicinity of Bethany, he lifted up his hands and blessed them. 51While he was blessing them, he left them and was taken up into heaven. 52Then they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy. 53And they stayed continually at the temple, praising God.

Luke 18:27

Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."
Luke 18:27

Dedication of Jacob

Jacob was dedicated to the Lord today, what a wonderful service for him, his family and friends. Pictures to follow shortly.
Mark 10:13-16
13 People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." 16 And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.

Romans 10:9-15

That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile — the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."
How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

Moving Mountains

Moving a mountain is obviously a very big thing to do, so to say, "I'd move mountains for you" is the same as saying, "I'd do anything for you".
That's the sense in which Jesus used the phrase, when he told his followers about the power of faith. Even a tiny amount of faith can achieve huge things, he said...
I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there" and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.
Matthew 17:20

Matthew 2:1-23


1 After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem 2 and asked, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him." 3 When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. 4 When he had called together all the people's chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. 5 "In Bethlehem in Judea," they replied, "for this is what the prophet has written: 6 "'But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you will come a ruler who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.'" 7 Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. 8 He sent them to Bethlehem and said, "Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him."
9 After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. 10 When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. 11 On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh. 12 And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.
13 When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. "Get up," he said, "take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him." 14 So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, 15 where he stayed until the death of Herod. And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: "Out of Egypt I called my son."
16 When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi. 17 Then what was said through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled: 18 "A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more."
19 After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt 20 and said, "Get up, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who were trying to take the child's life are dead." 21 So he got up, took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. 22 But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning in Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. Having been warned in a dream, he withdrew to the district of Galilee, 23 and he went and lived in a town called Nazareth. So was fulfilled what was said through the prophets: "He will be called a Nazarene."

Right Hand Secret

You ordered spaghetti, but you were served steak and fries. You're not impressed with the restaurant. The left hand clearly doesn't know what the right hand is doing. The same is true for any organization where communication is poor. This saying has a positive side to it, though, which is how Jesus used it. He said that when we do good things, we should keep it to ourselves, rather than letting other people admire us. Here's how he put it...


When you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Matthew 6:3-4

Killing the Fatted Calf

not sure about going to that party!

If you're having a party and say that you're going to "kill the fatted calf", it's the same as saying that no expense is being spared.The phrase goes back to a parable of Jesus, where a wayward son comes home after a long time away, and his father is so overjoyed to have him back that he throws a lavish party, fatted calf and all. It seems that killing the fatted calf was the first-century equivalent of cracking open the bubbly...

The father said to his servants, "Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found."

Jesus Wept

Most Christians are not over-fond of hearing people exclaim, "Jesus wept!" as it's a form of blasphemy, using the name of Jesus in a casual and inappropriate way.The words come from one of the most moving stories in the four Gospels, where Lazarus, a friend of Jesus, has died. As Jesus is shown the tomb of his friend, he begins to cry. "Jesus wept" is also the shortest verse in the whole Bible. Here it is...


He said, "Where have you laid him?" They said to him, "Lord, come and see." Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!"


John 11:34-36

Cross to Bear


An illness that won't go away... losing a succession of jobs... when things just keeping going wrong, one after another... you might call it bad luck, or you might call it "the cross you have to bear". Where does this phrase come from?

After he had been condemned to death, Jesus was cruelly made to carry his own cross to the place of execution. But he also told his disciples, long before he was crucified, that they would need to carry their own cross in life and be prepared to suffer for his sake. Here are his words...

If any of you want to be my followers, you must forget about yourself. You must take up your cross and follow me. If you want to save your life, you will destroy it. But if you give up your life for me and for the good news, you will save it.

Mark 8:34-35


A Good Samaritan

You've broken down by the side of the road, and someone kind stops and helps fix your car. Or you're at the supermarket checkout and find you're just short of having the right money, and the person behind offers to make it up to the right amount. They're both good Samaritans, people who help out and maybe even rescue you, when you're having a hard time.The phrase goes back to a story Jesus told about a Jewish man who was robbed and beaten up, and then helped by a passing Samaritan. The story was shocking, because for Jewish people of the time, Samaritans were foreigners who were hated and distrusted. In Jesus' story, the people you think would be bound to help don't, and it's the despised foreigner who comes to the rescue...

A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he travelled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. "Look after him," he said, "and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have."
Luke 10:30-35

Going the Extra Mile

"Going the extra mile" is when you've done something good, and then go out of your way to add something even better. You do something more, and maybe even surprise yourself.An important part of the teaching of Jesus was about responding to violence and coercion in a non-violent way. The Jewish people in Jesus' time lived under occupation – their country was under the control of the Roman army. Jesus talked about responding to evil with love and generosity, a message which is as radical and relevant today as it ever was...

If someone sues you for your shirt, give up your coat as well. If a soldier forces you to carry his pack one mile, carry it two miles. When people ask you for something, give it to them. When they want to borrow money, lend it to them.

Matthew 5:40-42

Falling on Stoney Ground

You've given it your best shot. You've tried reason, persuasion, warning... and even threats. None of it has worked. Your words have fallen on stony ground.Jesus used this farming image to describe people who receive his teaching in a rather shallow way. He said that his words are like seeds which seem to take root for a while, but quickly dry up and die. The phrase appears in a story he told known as the parable of the sower...

A sower went out to sow. And it happened, as he sowed, that some seed fell by the wayside; and the birds of the air came and devoured it. Some fell on stony ground, where it did not have much earth; and immediately it sprang up because it had no depth of earth. But when the sun was up it was scorched, and because it had no root it withered away. And some seed fell among thorns; and the thorns grew up and choked it, and it yielded no crop. But other seed fell on good ground and yielded a crop that sprang up, increased and produced: some thirtyfold, some sixty, and some a hundred. He who has ears to hear, let him hear!

Mark 4:3-9

Steve Harvey introduces Jesus!

American Comic, Steve Harvey, introduces Jesus "Vegas Style!"

Very funny!